


Verwaile doch! / Poza galaktykę i dalej

by Marta_Ayanami



Category: Star Wars Legends: Outbound Flight - Timothy Zahn, Star Wars: Thrawn - Timothy Zahn
Genre: 's how my brain's wired possibly, AU, AU crossover fusion, DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T, Eli is a pure and a jealous and an envious human being, Eli's POV on the whole thing, Eli's mental image of Thrawn may not be quite right either, Eli's mental picture of Thrass may be totally wrong, Elis Vantos are sometimes known to be bitter or petty and slightly guilty about that, Gen, I blame it on working as a translator (mainly financial texts rn), I don't think I can write a drabble, I tried to write a drabble, I'm at work but I have a short break in translating, LOOK AT CAPSLOCK TAGS FIRST PLEASE, Maris/Ferasi is either true or Eli's mental picture, One can't know the significance of something if one doesn't suspect it's significant, Oneshot, SPOILERS FOR LISTED CANONS, Thrass sees it from up or down or sideways idk what they believe elsewhere and, You Decide, absolutely a oneshot that's not subject to change, and sighs because if Thrawn sees the picture he's gonna launch into art critique, as if I am able to write anything else..., because Eli is a good guy so he does feel bad about being wrongly or not jealous, but everyone sees what they see and that's it, but like i said, flight what flight, heh, hint: nobody's being OOC, how much of what Eli sees is true and how much is his feelings, main event of this one shot is now canon to all my SW AUverses, my canon + a few things I pull out of Legends of my choosing verse, of the very crappy and inaccurate Vanto's mental picture of Thrass, or both why cannot it be both, probably, so the stuff about Outbound Flight itself flew over Eli's head, why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 08:23:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11100690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marta_Ayanami/pseuds/Marta_Ayanami
Summary: SPOILERS FOR MENTIONED CANONS.Commandor Eli Vanto wishes he wasn't so petty. Because what does one do with a possibly maybe mourning Chiss? That's not something that his parents or the imperial academy would have taught him.A failed attempt at a drabble form. Yeah, I wanted to write 100 or 200 words about this AU meeting, that is now bound to occur in each of my AU SW verses because it just has to, but drabble's too hard for me, and probably not my style. Also, may or may not be edited later, written at work on a spur of the moment.





	Verwaile doch! / Poza galaktykę i dalej

**~Vervaile Doch!~  / Ku gwiazdom / Infinity / Poza galaktykę i jeszcze dalej**

 

He sees the smuggler's face upon seeing the admiral and he doesn't need to be a genius, or anything more than someone who's just not blind, to see that whoever the other smuggler with her is (the one so possesive of her, who's waiting in the ship), her heart isn't his. It belongs to the Admiral, if he'd just take it.

Or maybe Thrawn already did. Because there's something, barely noticable something, in his eyes upon seeing her.

Even though she he knew they'd meet right now, he's arranged it, even if she thinks she has, and so, Eli Vanto's sure that what he's seeing in admiral Thrawn's eyes is a mere weak shadow of the Admiral's true emotions. Feelings. What does Thrawn see upon seeing this (to Eli) stranger, this woman, Ferasi? Apparently, Vanto considers with a stab of slight hurt, it's a supposed to be a secret. _A secret from me, after all the years we spent together. And even now, after Grand Admiral seemed to have written I'm his friend._

_A friend? Don't make me laugh, if she's a friend - and she must be - then I'm a mere acquiantance._

Unlike Eli, she can say some words in the Chiss language - Cheunh, Eli thinks. _It was called Cheunh, wasn't it? I know only a little, from my time at the ascendency. And most people there can speak Sy Bisti, Minnisiat, etc... so lessons in Cheunh were deemed unnecessary. So I only picked up a little._ And so, she says something that Eli doesn't understand more than few words of. Now he wishes that he asked admiral Ar'aralani to perhaps let Eli continue lessons in Cheunh, even with more pressing matters.

Thrawn's face expression changes... for worse? Does he seem... conflicted...? Not that Eli's ever fully understood his _friend._ (And the word for half a second tastes like ash in his mind. So he shoos it away.)

Apparently, Thrawn's angel (Eli's heard some legends about angels when he was little, and he hated and envied those mythological 'angels', and Maris looks very much like she could be Thrawn's angel. Somewhat old for an angel, but still...) is so very, very, very polite that she takes a pity on poor left out Eli Vanto and quickly repeats in Sy Bisti what she's just said in Cheunh, even magnaminously trying to make it look like she's not doing it for Eli's benefit, but because she's forgotten some words in Cheunh. Ph, as if he could believe that! He's not so stupid and she seems to consider him to be!

 

"I've just wanted to thank you. For years now. For saving the Outbound Flight. Quento doesn't believe you truly did it. But that man has never believed in anything."

"Ferasi-", Thrawn begins to say something, but then he makes a slight movement that Vanto's over the years decided must be a Chiss equivalent of a shrug. What was that flight, Eli had no idea. Thrawn's never mentioned it. But right now, Thrawn didn't look particularly proud. Moreover, it seemed as if Ferasi was giving him credit where no credit was due--

 _I know! -_ Eli thought suddenly _\- Thrawn didn't save the Flight, and since it was saved or she would probably know, Thrawn doesn't usually lie much, since it was saved... somebody else saved it, and asked Thrawn to take the credit for doing so! Somebody did it and asked him and Thrawn rarely likes doing things that way. So he's feeling a bit bitter about the rescued Flight, whatever it was._

"No, don't say you've only done what was right for your people. For them, you could've just destroyed the Flight, but you had not!"

She beamed.

Her eyes were shining, beaming, they were saying "I admire you, I know you, Thrawn, I love you, because there's nothing that can be done that you cannot do!!". At least, Eli Vanto was pretty sure that was what they're eyes, not young eyes, but they had to be young when those two met, were yelling, were screaming for the whole world to hear.

There was more talking. Thrawn seemed to be slightly tired. Finally, there was a goodbye. And then, something inexplicable happened. She suddenly said her goodbyes in Cheunh, and there was a name, not Thrawn's, but similar, and then, Thrawn's eyes seemed to darken ever so slightly. As if he steeled himself to hear it, before this meeting, but he had to brace himself really hard to hear it. Maybe for a few days before this suddenly arranged meeting, he's had to brace himself to hear it.

A name...

Eli knew it had to be impolite, but he still asked, even though he only understood a few words, so he was probably wrong :

"Miss Ferasi, have you just asked the Admiral to give his regards to somebody next time they meet? Some Mth...Mithra...Mithrasis?"

Was there a glare when Thrawn suddenly looked at him?

Ferasi nodded and glanced at the Admiral with a suddenl concern, as if there was something she hadn't known - (but, and what a bitter thought, it was something she could learn, and Eli was pretty sure he had no... let's say clearance... psh... to learn that particular something.)

Eli, feeling as if he's done something very impolite, probably mangling a name, quickly added: "I mean, miss Ferasi, if I heard you right" and he's avoided Thrawn's look, not wanting to know what sort of look it was now, just imagining it burning through him "if I heard right, you asked Admiral Thrawn to give his regards, when they next meet, to somebody called - my apologies if that's impolite of me to just say the core name - Thrass?"

He chanced the look at Thrawn. Oh, good. Thrawn was no longer glaring at Eli, the glare's dissipitated completely. What a relief.

Ferasi started saying something, and when she did, Eli suddenly had a distinc feeling shouldn't. As if she was shooting partly blindly and Vanto felt he should stand in front of his friend and protect him from that shot. And he felt silly for feeling this way. For nobody could shield another from words with their body.

Thrawn nodded slowly. Eli meanwhile wondered if the smuggler Ferasi was going to suddenly cry, but she didn't, and it seemed like the sadness she suddenly emanated was for Thrawn. Which was surreal, because Thrawn... Eli couldn't see any emotions on Thrawn's face right now. But he knew: they were all there then, a moment ago, when Ferasi wanted Thrawn to say hi to Thrass. That's when they all appeared and then, went hidden.

Feeling somewhat guily about it all, Eli tried to indentify the emotions.

Vanto walked Ferasi back to her ship and on their way there, he asked, very quietly and in basic, to be sure that he wouldn't misunderstand a thing this time, what he's wanted to ask ever since hearing the name half an hour ago.

"Who's Thrass?"

"Syndyc Mitth'ras'safis is Admiral's - sorry, Grand Admiral's - Mitth'raw'nuruodo's brother," Ferasi answered, some of the happy shining bliss she's had this morning disappearing from her face.

For Thrawn's sake.

For Thrawn's...

Ah. And here he was ready to feel bitter that Thrawn had somebody who knew him far better than Eli ever could, who understood everything and anything about Thrawn better than Eli ever could, becasue that's how brothers are, and Eli could never hope to become more than a colleague, much less a brother to Thrawn. For just a moment, a bitter petty moment, before the understanding hit him.

Her happiness slightly diminished, for Thrawn's sake-- because of Thrass--- because she had no idea, that the Syndyc Thrass--

Was it true? It had to be. That's why his eyes had momentarily darkened. That's what the reason for the glare was. Because Thrass was apparently no longer dead. And it was not a betrayal, because Eli Vanto's seen Thrawn's reaction to betrayal and that was NOT IT.

No, there was none of that. No, it was something much simpler, and so much more cruel. That Syndyc Thrass was, apparently, dead. And what a thing to do to Thrawn, and

And what a thing Eli had done for half a second, envious of of a dead man. Until he understood that man's dead. And so, there was even no way to apologise. Not that he ever knew him, and not that he'd care (because Eli didn't think most Chiss cared much for humans, so surely that Thrass wouldn't care at all and would probably just consider Eli to be some toy of his brother, some slight curiosity and amusement of Thrawn, so...)

What a thing to... He really should do something about his pettiness.

Miss Ferasi could see his face, Vanto's face, and apparently, in her angelic enthusiastic idealism (though she was too old for that, get a grip, woman)... in that idealism, Eli saw, she must've misread Eli's reaction completely. She must have thought Eli was, for a second at least, sorry that he could never meet Thrass! What a joke. If only she knew how bitter he'd feel if he ever met him without first knowing from Thrawn about that syndyc's existence. What a joke.

And so, Ferasi said, "Mi--Thrawn-- Grand Admiral Thrawn told me some things about everything you've done, Vanto. And just from some of this. I think, some things you've, though that's just my opinion, Mi---Thrawn's brother would have appreciated them. At least that's what I think. So don't feel bad if you can't say his full name. If you're wondering about him with just his core name."

Eli smiled weakly, trying to feed into her lie about Eli's noble feelings, and hummed a vague agreement, something he thought he learned from Thrawn over the years.

"What I mean is, I don't think you'd offend him very much. Mi-- Thrass, that is."

Eli hummed a vague agreement, feeling, right this second, like the word's biggest liar, and very happy that MiThrasssomething had been no Jedi, because apparently Jedi had ghosts. So it was a relief that Thrawn's brother probably had no ghost.

And at that, too, he felt a slight stab of guilt, because, for all he knew, maybe Thrawn would be slighly happier if he could talk to Thrass.

Although, well, Eli was pretty sure that they would have better subjects to talk about than some inignificant former Cadet than Commander, completely accidentally by Thrawn's side and not much by Thrawn's choice (it wasn't Thrawn's choice that Eli happened to know Sy Bisti, and maybe that was all there ever was to his being held at Thrawn's side). They'd surely have better subjects.

Slight guilt again. The bitterness bit at its own tail and Eli sighed a little, making a resolve to do something about his own pettiness. After all, today wasn't about him - it was about Thrawn, and apparently, about everything and anything that Thrawn may have lost.

How much, was the question. Eli's question, at least. And no matter what, it wasn't a question to be asked aloud. The angel of happiness, awe, and misery left, back to the other smuggler, leaving Eli Vanto to ponder that. Now knowing more and less about his _friend_ than he ever knew during their shared (not much shared, apparetnly) lives in the academy and on the ships.

 

 

Much more and much less. If he was to know nothing, why did Thrawn ever call him a friend or keep him at his side? If he was to know nothing, not even something that seemed like a core matter, about Thrawn? Why?

 

And somehow, stupidly, in his own opinion, Eli wondered what would this conversation be like if Eli was the one who was five feet under and Thrass was the one at Thrawn's side here in the Empire right now and Ferasi had ever met Eli for some reason. Would Thrawn, then, feel even slightly bothered, if the smuggler, not knowing about whatever incident happened and that Eli apparently got deepsixed, bid Thrawn say hi to Vanto?

Well, if he would feel bothered, it'd surely be much, much less, that much Eli was certain of. After all... he wasn't surprised about not hearing that some Thrass existed from other Chiss in the Ascendency, because it's not like they knew that Eli actually liked knowing about Thrawn as much as one could.

 

But Thrawn knew, because Thrawn knew Eli as well as Eli knew himself. (And sometimes, which was always a scary thought, probably slightly better. That was one of the problems with having a genius for the best friend. Very unfortunate, in that regard.)

 

Eli knew Thrawn knew that Eli would have liked to know about people important to Thrawn, because, well. Why shouldn't he? Thrawn had met the Vantos. Eli would let him meet them again, no problem. (Not that his parents want to meet Thrawn again, they don't. And Thrawn knows that, too, so one meeting ever only works out just as well.)

Anyway, Thrawn knows, and still, no word ever about Thrass, or parents if there are any, alive or dead, and so. Apparently Eli's not worthy of such knowledge.

Fine, then, it's not like there were moments he thought Thrawn really, really trusts him, since he even had sent him to the Ascendency.

 

_And it's just my own conceit and stupid pride to think I know a bit more about Thrawn than any other human does (because of course the other Chiss know more about him, I know that, I saw that, and maybe it's good I could never meet Thrass--- just my own conceit... own mistake. I know less than I had thought.)_

_(Even after a year among the other Chiss.)_

 

_(Maybe they just never told me about that guy, his brother, because I never asked. Some of them are like this. And maybe I would have known more had I simply asked about anything about Thrawn. So what?)_

 

 

Much less, he felt sure. So much less than he ever thought. He, Eli, was surely even less to Thrawn that he had thought.


End file.
